131. LONELINESS. Psalm102:7.

Loneliness is often self inflicted, caused by people who, at the start of their oneness don’t want to share their grief or hurt with anyone for fear of being unable to express themselves adequately, or, being misunderstood if they did. Loosing someone who has been very dear to us is one of the most heart wrenching experience known to man. Husbands, wives children, siblings and friends we have loved and lived with for years are now gone – Where? Yes, we still have our faith in God, And yes, He has every right, and yes, He has His very good reasons. But “I’m Hurting.” So I’ll sit here on my own and await my turn. And When people come with their Bible readings and Christian platitudes, to help us get over our loss, we are sometimes not impressed, and want to say to them,”NO! I am not Abraham or Sarah, I don’t want to give up my loved one, not even to God.” The problem is that becomes our comfort zone, though understandable, it is not very comfortable at all. And the longer we sit there, the harder it will be to get out of. That's when loneliness starts settling in and we begin to think nobody cares. I would think divorce must be very similar, especially for the innocent party, or if it was unexpected; in such cases there would be feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness and deep hurt which would be very demoralising and difficult to cope with. I am not a councillor in these matters, but, being nearly ninety years of age I have had the experience of seeing God take both my parents, three brothers, a husband, two miscarriages a son and several very dear friends.. So, I have that first-hand experience, and can only speak from that perspective. I know everyone is different, and everyone experiences heart wrenching sorrow at these times, but, these are also times when your journey with God can (if you let it) take a giant leap forward. At first you are made aware that you can’t do anything more for Him/Her, so you have to turn to the only one who can meet their (and your own) needs as well. Almighty God is your only avenue. So let Him have the full force of your grief, yell and scream, stamp your feet, cry until your tears run out. Like Mary and Martha say “If you had been here my brother would not have died.” Why, Why, Why MY loved one. I’ve been a good Christian, I trusted you, I’ve tried so hard and you’ve let me down. Eventually, when your pillow is wet with tears and you drift into deep exhaustion and sleep comes, only to be woken by the stark reality of your current situation. And it all starts over again. This may occur for a few days but, for the Christian, I believe this is the point of submission, where you come to God on your knees, acknowledge Him for who He is and make your peace with Him. You will be very vulnerable and once again tears will flow, but the presence of God will be very real to you. Cherish these moments. Drink and consume the depth of love that God is pouring down on you; that’s the only true medication that will work. Only then will you be able to understand and accept. The WHY? That plagues your heart and mind. He really does know and care about what’s going on in our lives at these deep-hurt situations. ..And one day we will understand. There was a day in December 1998 when Wolfgang Dircks a divorced disabled loaner, was found deceased in his apartment in Bonn, Germany, – five years after he died. He was 43 and died watching television. Neighbours didn’t notice his absence. His Landlord came by after the bank account from which his rent was paid dried up. A TV schedule was still sitting on the lap of Dirck’s skeleton and was open to the page of the 5th of December of 1993. - The apparent date of his death. The TV had long since stopped in the on position, but the lights on the 1993 Christmas Tree were still glowing When God created us, God said, in (Genesis 2:18) “It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper Comparable to himself.” You were created to be in relationship. You don’t have to accept Loneliness as your destiny. Instead, take look at these suggestions : 1. Find a need and meet it. Often loneliness is not the absence of people, but that of purpose. Show a genuine interest in others, Resist making your own issues and worries the topic of every conversation. In (Philippians 2:3-4) Paul tells us “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit Rather, in humility, value others before yourself, not looking to your own interests, but to the interests of others.” 2. Be generous with your time, talents and resources. Not everyone will accept what you offer, but some will, pray for guidance and keep reaching out. Remember what God says in (Isaiah 43:4) “To me you are very dear, and I love you. So what’s the best way to deal with “Loneliness” (1) Learn to be alone without feeling lonely. Jesus often left the crowed to be alone with His Father in prayer. Why? Because He knew that solitude is essential for spiritual growth, and He came back from those encounters personally enriched and better equipped to deal with the challenges of life that day. In (Genesis 32:24) we read “Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till the breaking of day.” Out of Jacob’s time alone with God came a man with a new name, a new nature, a new walk and a new future Plus, when people realise you can enjoy being alone and doing an activity alone, they are attracted by your strength independence and confidence. (2) Reject the idea that you can’t live without that certain person in your life. God is the only person you must have, and in (Hebrews 13:5 you will find that He has promised to always stay with you. Sometimes people fall into depression after the death of someone they love because they haven’t cultivated an outside life or interest. But it’s never too late to get started. And God will Help these people. Paul wrote in (2 Timothy 4:16-17) “The first time I was brought before the Judge, no one came with me, everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. But The Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear.” God will go on with you and show you how to grieve your loss with Him, how to leave your loss with Him and how to go on to achieve whatever He has in mind for the next stage of your journey with Him. Thank you for reading these few suggestions on coping with loneliness. I hope they help. The biggest gain I have received from God through all the lonely times are His gifts of dependence and reliability my trust and utter reliance on God has grown tremendously, I know that regardless of the the circumstances, or where I am, or who I’m with , God is in control and wont let me down I trust His word implicitly. (Isaiah 43:4)”You are precious to me and I love you.” God Bless. Phaline. ------------------------------------