119. STEPS TO FORGIVENESS Colossians 3; 13,

I don’t know if I am writing this word for myself or for others, But God is talking to me about this subject, so while tapping away on my computer I will share what I believe the Spirit is down-loading to me, because I don’t think I’m the only one who has this problem. It’s not that I don’t believe in forgiveness, of course I do; But, I certainly don’t find forgetting easy. However, Jesus didn’t say forget, No! He made it very clear, that if we want our sins forgiven, we must forgive others; But, How can I? How can You? Every time we see or think of that person, up it comes. So with the Scriptures in hand, let’s thrash this out together. We all agree that the misery of living with Un-forgiveness always lasts longer than the pain of the offence and we know that when we hold on to resentment, it opens the door to depression and often to physical illness. I also understand, Forgiveness is not automatic, we have quite a part to play in this process if maintained, will bring healing to our wounded spirits and restoration to our health and happiness. Here are two steps to help us on our way to true forgiveness (1) Remember that we have been unconditionally forgiven. At this point we need to recall God’s grace towards us, and the price paid for our forgiveness. By refusing to show mercy, we are like the man who Jesus spoke about in (Matthew 18: 23-34) He was forgiven an enormous debt, yet was unwilling to forgive another man’s paltry loan to him. The grace God has extended to us, leaves us no grounds whatsoever to refuse the same grace to the one who has hurt us. (2) Scripture dictates, we must release the offender from the debt they owe us. We may be totally justified in saying, “They owe me for what they did to me”, our friends might agree with us, the law may also agree, and we may be thinking the only way this offender will learn to do what’s right is, if they are punished and made to pay for the wrong they have done. But, we have to learn this lesson >- (Hears the forgetting bit) “As long as we are holding on to our rights, we are chained to the past. It has us in it’s grip. And our future is being held hostage. So every time it comes up in our minds we must dispel it immediately. It may take a long time, even years, but eventually it will disappear. The longer we accommodate it, the harder it will be and the longer it will take to remove its self from our memory. So we must not allow unforgiveness to take up residence in our minds or heart. Our offender’s sin against us was paid for on the same cross and with the same sacrificial blood that cancelled our sins and debt, so they have the same right to forgiveness that we have. And there is more, Forgiveness is not just for their benefit, but for ours as well. (Luke 6:37) says “Forgive and you will be forgiven.” Take on board, the reverse applies. Here are three more steps to forgiveness; (1.) Accept people as they are, don’t try to change them. So often we say “I’ll only forgive them if they change.” That just keeps you tied to them. By obsessing over them and what they did, you are demanding they act only in ways you approve of. Nothing makes people less willing to change than when you try to control them with the demand that they meet your standards and requirements. Changing people isn’t our job – It’s God’s job! Our job is to choose to forgive and leave the outcome in the hands of God. The formula for healing is simple. Forgive, let go and let God. (2.) See your offender as God’s tool for your growth. It’s easier to forgive someone when you stop seeing them as Satan’s agent who has been sent to destroy you, and start seeing them as God’s instrument to develop you. The life of Joseph speaks of this principal. The path that led him from the pit to the palace was paved with injustice, disappointment and betrayal, but God used each of those painful experiences and circumstances to get Joseph to his destiny. And God can do that for you and me as well. (3.) Try reconciling with your offender. ( reconciliation is a real asset with the forgetting process.) Reconciliation is God’s nature. (Romans 5:10) tells us When and while we were His enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son Jesus Christ. And what God did for us He wants us to do for whoever we are at odds with. Jesus made reconciliation a top priority by saying in (Matthew 5. 24) “Leave your gift there at the alter...First be reconciled… Then come and offer your gift.” Yes it will take selflessness and humility on our part, but the return is worth the investment. Thank you for reading these thoughts on reconciliation. After forgiveness, reconciling is an absolute must. His Holy Spirit then has the opportunity to restore, re-establish and cultivate a strong, deep relationship which otherwise would have been lost. Let’s keep 0ur little body of Jesus Christ intact, by the power of the Spirit, and the Mighty Hand. of God. Blessings Phaline. -----------------------