104 RELATIONSHIPS FOR A CHRISTIAN. Amos 3:3

The above Scripture says “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” Obviously not, that’s why direction, speed, abilities and aspirations should take priority over emotions and self satisfaction. Before I go any further on this subject, You need to understand, although I have attended many counselling training sessions, both civil and Religious I am not a ‘bone fide’ Counsellor, all I can offer is:-The above and almost sixty years of marriage and mothering experience. Which wasn’t always “a bed of roses,” but with God’s gracious goodness and guidance, I believe we saw it through successfully. I have made this very definitive (For Christians),Yes, we are different, and much more is expected of us both by God and the people of this world. ie. as far as Integrity, Honesty and righteousness is concerned. A Christian represents God in every facet of his/her life. This word, however, “Relationships For Christians” will be on a much wider scale, You and I have been set apart, chosen, by Almighty God Himself before the creation of the world. For What? To tell the world who He is. What a responsibility,!!! , do you realise that is the same responsibility Jesus gave His Apostles when He chose them to go and preach the Good News to all the world. If you truly value your relationship with God, He must be your first priority in every aspect of your life. So Christian understand this, any “Relationship” you take on Whether Religious Business, Romantic sport or leisure, without prioritising God’s Principles, Values and ethics wont amount to anything like its full potential; regardless of how hard you work at it. “But,” you say “There are plenty of Non Christian achievers” Yes there are, but God expects His committed children (Christians) to put Him first. If you want God’s best for your marriage, Family, home, business, etc. Prioritise God and watch Him work for you. We must learn to value ourselves as God’s chosen children. And show people outside the Kingdom that what we have is far greater and much more valuable and rewarding than what they have, and consequently worth pursuing. Like the early church. People must be able to see by our love, our kindness, our willingness to share our time and blessings with them That we are prepared to leave the world and all its trappings behind for Our God, knowing that He will take care of us in every way and will see us through this life and into a heavenly eternity. Having the right relationships will help you to soar in life, they are like the wind beneath your wings. And the wrong relationships will drag you down, like a ball and chain around your feet. To know which relationships are good for you and which are not, here are three guidelines to think about:- (1) When a relationship is not working, Go to God in sincere, prayer, and if possible with a trusted friend, be gentle and sincere, acknowledging your own weaknesses and failures in the relationship breakdown. If you don’t feel or understand, acknowledge it. Sometimes we must cut our losses. The old saying still goes,”When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging”. Sometimes our efforts are not enough and we can’t help everyone. Releasing someone or something doesn’t mean they will never get better, it just means that God is more qualified to help them than you are. (2.) There is a difference between helping someone and carrying them. This is particularly so when you are dealing with a person who always turns to you for help and tries to make you feel guilty when you are not available for them. Don’t try to be someone’s god. Your constant help might actually be a hindrance – this can make you a crutch and an enabler. Step back and teach them to walk on their own. (3.) Don’t allow your fear of criticism to restrain your common sense. Here is a fact of life that you must learn to live with, not everyone will be pleased with you! Or like you. The truth can hurt and often alienate, but it’s still the truth. There are times when you must ‘tell it like it is’ and accept the consequences and disapprovals. The only way to avoid criticism, is to always say what everyone wants to hear, which, in a relationship is living a lie. There is always a nice way of dealing with difficult people and situations. Sitting with them, and a cup of coffee, explaining how you feel about continuing or ending the relationship, this will often bring about success more peacefully and with less overflow and hurt. In (Proverbs 13:20) we read “He who walks with wise men will himself be wise.” Not everyone who starts out with you is capable of going where God wants to take you. Sometimes they don’t have the emotional capacity required. Other times their vision differs from yours. So how do you know when it’s time to end a relationship? (I am not talking marriage here) Avoid relationships that leave you depleted. This calls for establishing clear boundaries for the relationship up front. You don’t have time to spend your life straightening out misunderstandings, hurt feelings and injured egos. How far are you willing to go? How much are you inclined to invest? When you overspend your budget, you go broke. Bankrupting yourself emotionally or physically to make someone else feel needed, might sound noble, but it’s not. People who get bankrupt in these areas usually end up with everything from nervous break downs, to extramarital affairs, and even if they don’t they tend to get overdone and find they are carrying too much weight, So, When you feel a relationship is not working, Pause and take a look. View the situation objectively, examining all the facets of it. Sometimes certain aspects of a relationship should be terminated. It’s possible to have relationships that work in one area and not in another, Compartmentalising will save many important relationships, because it enables you to see them in sections. It’s possible to remove one section and still have a lot left to enjoy. Yes, it takes work and communication, but it’s often worth it. Thank you for reading these few words on Christian Relationships. My moto is “proceed with care.” don’t hurry any kind of relationship. Remember who you are in Christ and always take The Holy Spirit with you. God Bless. Phaline. --------------------------------