147. CONTROL YOUR ANGER. James 1:19.

Anger, is an emotion, and like all our emotion can and should be kept under control. However there are times when we “lose it”, and if we don’t act quickly enough to regain our composure our anger can turn to hatred, temper tantrums or worse. It is for this reason we train our children by controlling and teaching them at a young age to take control of their minds, speech and behaviour, especially in the area of self-indulgence with a “So far and no further” correction. If people have been brought up with little or no self-control then their whole emotional structure will be at risk, and in my experience, they will turn out to be very self- centred, selfish, dominating and intimidating adults, prone to anger and lashing out when things don’t turn out the way they want, or they don’t get what they think they are entitled to. I am not a Psychologist but along with my husband of sixty years have brought up seven reasonably well adjusted children who are now an asset to society and this country. We raised our family guided by Scriptural principles, daily prayer and our combined experiences of life which were always laced with the Word of God . In the Bible, the book of James gives us three keys on how to handle anger the right way, let’s look at them and see what we can learn from the Apostle James: (1:19) . 1. Be quick to listen- ie. Don’t react, and don’t rush to judgemental conclusions, slow down and try to get the correct facts in your head. Don’t put any reliance on “He said or she said” rely only on the facts of the matter that you personally know to be true. Then pray, asking the Holy Spirit to show you how to respond. This takes a little time, and that’s exactly what you need before going off on a tangent and making an idiot of yourself. 2. Slow to speak- ie If you are unsure or you don’t know then say so. There is an old Chinese Proverb that says, “It is better to say nothing and appear to be a fool than to open your mouth and confirm the fact.”!! You need to be in control of your facilities at all times. If you are not, it will show! You will look and act as though you have all the answers but in reality you wont have them: you will start tripping yourself up with your own words and those very words will come back to bite you. Remember this, What you don’t say, you wont have to explain or apologise for later. So learn to Zip it. 3. Be Slow to get angry- ie. Note, The Bible doesn’t say that you should never get angry. It says you should get angry about the right things, in the right way, at the right time. Jesus displayed His temper with the money lenders in the temple courts, also with the Pharisees, even to the point of calling them names. “snakes and vipers and sons of Satan” (the right way, at the right place, at the right time) Solomon says in (Ecclesiastes 7:9) “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.” That’s why it’s so important to deal with our hurts. An unhealed wound causes pain, which often manifests itself in anger. The trouble is, we carry that pain around with us and vent it on others. As a result, they distance themselves from us, or distrust us. or deny us the intimacy and closeness that we desire with them. In Proverbs (19:11) Scripture says, “The wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults. This is to his credit.” If you want to grow a Christ-like character, you have to exercise and develop these three spiritual muscles: Patience, Love and Restraint. When someone says or does something offensive to you, I believe it’s easier, less stressful or difficult to deal with when it first happens, and not wait until you’ve had time to brood and build on it and make it into a major crime.(That’s the time when Satan enters the situation) so deal with it on the spot. How? You ask: by gently putting your hand on their shoulder or arm and stopping the conversation straight away, while saying “ excuse me, Did you hear what you just said? Did you mean to say that I was Stupid, Ignorant or Dumb or whatever.... Can we talk about this? You don’t have to be aggressive, nor do you have to let them get away with it. Keep your integrity, peace and love intact. It will stop the aggression and very likely improve your relationship . Your anger may or may not hurt the person towards whom it’s directed; but it can definitely hurt you. Prolonged anger releases toxic chemicals in to your body that elevates your blood pressure, create cholesterol and increase your risk of stroke and heart attack. Every minute given to anger, is a minute taken away from your joy. And it can also hurt you personally and professionally, it doesn’t take long for people to learn that you are an angry person, with a ‘short fuse.’ Everybody gets upset from time to time. But when you walk around with your anger barely concealed, People avoid you. Plus, you are giving whoever angers you power over your attitude, your behaviour and your responses. That’s too much power to give anybody! God wants you to live in peace. Here is how to let go of your anger (1) Recognise the main hurt and emotion at the root of your anger. (2) Become mindful of how your anger is exhibiting itself such as (surliness or profanity) (3) Restrain anger’s effect on your body and your body language by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly and at the same time adding an affirmation to God such as “Thank you Father” or “Lord, I receive your peace right now.” Watch your tone of voice in all your communications, not just with the person who has angered you. Request rather than order. You’ll feel more in control and people will be more likely to listen and cooperate with you. (4) Decide to forgive. You will know when you are forgiven when you no longer desire to see your offender penalised. In reality, You may still hurt a bit. But remember this, feelings follow behaviour, so get your behaviour under control, God will see you’re trying and He will change your feelings and attitude to follow. your behaviour. However if you continue to reopen the wound by continually talking about it, it will never heal; That’s like taking the scab off a sore, it just starts bleeding again. So don’t entertain the thought, say a short prayer each time it comes up in your mind and just keep walking in love and your emotions will fall in to line with your decision. Thank you for reading these words on “Controlling Anger” We all need to keep our emotions in check, they are a gift from God, a release mechanism or a relief valve for our emotions, not a tool to threaten or bring hurt tos others if we don’t, Satan will use them as a springboard to get us to do whatever he wants and our pride will then drop us right into his trap. So don’t be too proud to try a few suggestions. God bless and may His Spirit go ahead of you. Phaline. ---------------------------