75. Guidelines For Parenting. Proverbs 23:13.

My husband John an and I brought up seven children, and although we can’t claim to have made a perfect job of them at least none of them are in prison, prostitution or unemployed. They each understand Christianity and what God requires of them. This doesn’t mean my job is over, it just means, I have to spend the rest of my life on my knees; because now, as adults hopefully, they will instil those same spiritual values and ethics (which we attempted to give them) are being ministered to our grandchildren. So, for what it’s worth here is my contribution to this very important matter. I hope that my half century of committed Christianity and fifty eight years of marriage and mothering experience is of some value and will help someone in today’s turbulent world. When it comes to discipline, your primary concern should never be your own comfort, but the Soul, mind and emotions of your child. Discipline or the lack there of, can set of a good or bad chain reaction. If your children don’t respect authority in the home, they wont respect it in the school, the government, the church or ultimately even in heaven itself. It’s just a small step from rebelling against the parents God gave them to rebelling against the God who gave them their parents. that’s why, discipline should begin sooner rather than later. When a child is old enough to be told to do what’s right and they choose to do what’s wrong – that child is ready to be disciplined. The Bible doesn’t specify an age limit in its definition of the word “child” Just because your child is old enough to drive, shave and date, doesn’t mean they are beyond correction. They may be too old for time-out or confiscating toys, but there are other more effective ways of disciplining an adolescent or teenager. If you read the book of Proverbs carefully, You’ll find that Solomon was talking to a son who was old enough to join a street gang, be tempted by sexual sin, patronise prostitutes, get into debt and get drunk. He wasn’t necessarily talking to primary school children. The bottom line here is...As long as our children are under our roof, they are under our Jurisdiction. And, one day, we will have to give an account of how we used – or didn’t use – our authority. Babies are good, cuddly and reasonably compliant, but, that’s only because they are babies, in just a few months they are stretching their boundaries and abilities, they learn to scream, cry, demand, crawl and follow your very presence with their eyes and in fact if you wonder too far away, they know exactly which of your buttons to push at any given moment to get your attention. Don’t cave in, Let them know as early as possible “They are the child, You are the adult who makes the rules. The sooner a child (Baby) learns this the easier it’s going to be for both of you as he/she is growing up. Remember you are not dependant on the child, He/she is dependant on you. Therefore, you must NEVER lie to them. ALWAYS let your child know where you are and how they can contact you. KEEP your promises. If you make a mistake, be the first to set it right with your child, they will understand if you explain the situation before someone else gets to them. Proverbs (22:6) says ‘train up a child the way he should go (Teaching them to seek God’s will) Is a scripture that always meant a lot to me, I felt if I did my part, God would honour me by taking care of my children, and I believe He has done this. Several years ago, sociologists and child psychologists made an interesting discovery. Contemporary thought assumed that putting fences around play grounds made children feel restricted in their recreation. And based on that theory it was decided to remove the fences so children wouldn’t feel confined. To the astonishment of the experts, the opposite effect occurred, researchers found that children became more inhibited in their activities. They tended to huddle towards the middle of the playground and exhibit signs of insecurity. Interestingly, when the fences were replaced, the children once again played with enthusiastic freedom. What is the lesson here? We all need boundaries – something to define the limits of safety and security. Whereas the ‘experts’ theorised that boundaries restrict creativity, children on the play ground proved that we need a clear understanding of what is safe and acceptable in order for ingenuity and inventiveness to flourish. That means your children will flourish and you will function better as a parent when guidelines are clearly communicated, and the consequences for not following them are completely understood. There’s a story of a father who gave his 16 year old son his first car, before handing over the key, he said, ‘This is a magic car Son’ “Oh really?’ said the boy, ‘Yes’ said Dad, one speeding ticket and it will disappear’!!! So if you buy a car for your child, make sure it’s a magic car!!! God our Heavenly Father sets the boundaries for our success in life. In the words of Scripture (Joshua 1: ‘Study this book of instruction continually… Obey everything written in it...Then will you prosper and succeed in all you do’. The Bible says in (Proverbs 22:6) ‘Train up a child…(Teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents) even when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ The truth of the matter is, while certain universal principles apply to all children, no two children are alike, and it’s a mistake to treat them as if they were. In fact here are two of the most common blunders you can make as a parent; 1. Trying to mould your child into the mould you used to be. Just because you were a star on the Sports field, or got straight As in Maths or Language at school, doesn’t necessarily mean your children will want to follow or are capable of following in your footsteps. While you should neither tolerate nor reward laziness, you need to accept that not all children are equally gifted, athletically or intellectually. 2. trying to make them into what you want them to be. Don’t try to relive your life through your kids. You had your chance, and just because you didn’t make the grade in your chosen profession doesn’t mean you should force your Son or Daughter in that direction. The Bible says ‘Train up a child in the way he should go’ (For his abilities and talents), not the way you would go. Or the way you want him/her to go. Although I personally have not experienced it, I believe Solo parenting is the most difficult aspect of all parenthood and the only way one can manoeuvre their way through life in this area is to come before God each day in humble submission and ask for His in-put into yours and your child/children’s lives. And remember, ‘Absolutely Nothing’ is impossible for and with God. Here are three hallmarks of healthy self-esteem we should continually strive to teach our children-→ 1. Know who you are in Almighty God, , 2. Like who you are in Jesus Christ, 3. Be who you are in the Holy Spirit. Thank you for reading these thoughts on “Parenting Guidelines” I hope and pray they are of help to you parents, whom God has chosen and entrusted to bring forth children in the very image and likeness of God Himself. So pray often, thanking and trusting Him to guide and watch over you and your family. Dear Lord Please guide, bless and protect all the families with which you have entrusted us. Phaline. --------------------------------

74. Radical Commitment. Galatians 2:20.

Many people today want to get as much as they can for themselves while giving as little in return as possible. They want to be there for their friends in the good times, but absent in the not-so good ones. Sadly, national statistics confirm this lack of commitment The marriage rate is down, while the divorce rate is up. Involvement in ministry and worthy causes that help the needy are all down. Why? Because people don’t want to put themselves on the line, or be pinned down by responsibility. We often view opportunities to serve others as obligations, therefore we avoid them. We are a generation with a short attention span accustomed to fifteen-second advertisements and fast-food. We want our sermons to be simple, entertaining and to leave us feeling good. Yes, radical commitment is rare- but it’s what God requires of you and me. Commitment means your promise is binding whether it’s convenient or not. Here’s one example; Commitment to marriage. Marriage as God sees it, isn’t a fifty-fifty arrangement. It’s a mutual agreement to give one hundred per cent of ourselves. It’s a lifetime covenant between you and your spouse; for better or worse; ‘for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health; until parted by death.’ And that covenant is a lot easier to live up to when both parties have learned, like Paul, ‘I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.(Galatians 2:20) That means dying to self interest is the key to great relationships. In (Luke 9:23) Jesus said; “Give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” So here are three Bible examples of radical commitment which will help you to do this. (1) Commitment on the job. In the past, employers appreciated their workers, and workers valued their employers and their jobs. Today’s workplace is often adversarial, with employees criticising their bosses and doing the very minimum required to get by, while many bosses have become increasingly demanding, and taking their workers for granted. This isn’t God’s way. His way calls for mutual commitment between management and labour. Paul says in (Ephesians 6.5:8) ”Obey your human masters...as though you were serving Christ...Do your work... cheerfully, as though you were serving the Lord, and not merely human beings.” (2) Commitment at your church. Many Christians have adopted a cafeteria-style approach towards church, we pick what we like and leave what we don’t but membership in God’s church involves a covenant relationship with a body of believers who watch over, cherish and pray for one another and fulfil the great commission together. You just have to read 1Correnthians (12;12-31) and see what Paul is talking about there. (3) Commitment to Christ. Jesus Christ is not looking for “wishy-washy” “lukewarm” followers see Revelation (3:16) “So because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Jesus told the crowed “If any of you wants to be my follower you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross DAILY, and follow me. That means we no longer follow our own wishes and wills, we follow Christ and His will. That is Radical Commitment and we, as Christians are all called to it. Over the last fifty years or so as Christian ethics, principles and values have been slowly dispensed with, so too have the fruit of the Spirit become less evident in our modern society. In this day and age words such as Commitment, Loyalty, Trust, honesty and reliability are almost non existent. And one is considered a fool if they try to uphold and live by such principles. However, I believe they are a big part of the love Commandment, and if we Christians are seen to be upholding them and living by them, THEN perhaps we too will hear people say “See how these Christians love one another” and want some of the wonderful treasure that we possess. Thank you for reading my thoughts on “Radical Commitment” The wondering sheep need shepherding and Jesus is the “Good Shepherd” so let’s do all we can to bring them to Him as He blesses our efforts. Phaline. --------------------------------